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The Old Stump Grinder

by The Ambiguities

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about

Ye Olde Stump Grinder

lyrics

It seems like only yesterday
that I sat on my tuffet eating curds and whey
after walking 10 miles to school each way
barefoot on crumbling feet of clay
TV’d just gone from black-and-white to gray
The future’s bright--or blinding? I couldn’t say
it’s all I can do just to stay
half a century behind today

Chorus:
The world’s changing so fast, I’m 50 years behind her
My tape deck has a broken rewinder
My kaleidoscope has a busted collider
What cool new bands should I write on my binder?
‘cause the old stump grinder could use a reminder

Sometimes I borrow, sometimes I loan
just to hear Polonius curse and moan
Someday soon we’ll all have clones
so I won’t have to play Parcheesi alone
I like to put on my granpappy’s cologne
and hum into the rotary phone
to the reassuring drone
of my friend the dial tone

Chorus:

That was my worst pandemic since the bubonic
I had enough toast but not enough tonic
The US keeps getting more moronic
This century’s so much more ironic
If you find sincerity erotic
Let’s run off to somewhere more exotic
But first a quick disclaimer
I’m not a licensed lion tamer

Chorus

Someday I’ll take a time machine back and listen
To all the groovy tunes that I’ve been missing
I’ll get my tape deck back in commission
my kaleidoscope fixed for a new collision
I’ll learn to play the lute, be a minstrel hipster
Just like Quiet Riot and Twisted Sister
I’ll be the shiny new transistor
at the center of each game of Twister

Chorus

The world’s changing so fast, I’m 50 years behind her
My tape deck has a broken rewinder
My kaleidoscope has a busted collider
What cool new bands should I write on my binder?
‘cause the old stump grinder could use a reminder
'cause this old stump grinder needs frequent reminders

credits

released April 1, 2022
Words & music by Daniel Hales © 2021
Recorded & mixed by Daniel Hales at Algorhythm Studio, Greenfield, MA

Mastered by Tommy Byrnes at Southpaw Studio, Bernardston, MA

Bass: James F. Lowe; Backing vocal: Shawn Goldthwaite
All other instruments & vocals by Daniel Hales

Collage by Nate Longcope

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The Ambiguities Greenfield, Massachusetts

How did I become this ambiguous aberration you see before you? Listen to "Hungover Dragon" and all will be explained...

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